An Open Letter To Loved Ones: How Nurturing People Help Heal Our Wounds

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
~Henri Nouwen

Dearest Loved One,

Inspiration is everywhere. While I am one who daily seeks it, I experience motivation and encouragement from a particular area in my life: it is my relationships. I am a strong believer that our well-being can center on our “horizontal” relationships as well as the vertical with a higher source. You’re my inspiration. I can smile again because of you.

For many years, I struggled to grasp what healthy relationships should be. I underwent many seasons of toxic and harmful encounters. Finding the balance was difficult because wrong people entered my life. They came because of my lack of knowing, vulnerableness, and easily trusting nature permitted their entrance. I once learned from a therapist sister I know, “there are reasons for behaviors, but no excuses.” I am a high-giver and nurturing person by nature. I enjoy being there for others. I did this for them and was used, dragged through the “mud,” rejected a lot and sorely mistreated.

I could be very callous, hard and guarded from this stuff, but I am not. My primary struggle was fear. I was afraid of loss because I’d lose a loved one every three years. During two of those years, we were like family.  At the close of the third year, such a whirlwind came to divide us. Not sure if you’re aware. Whirlwinds are dangerous and reckless. They can and will cause severe damage. Those previous encounters were designed to destroy me. Their cold and callous hearts tried to challenge my character and love. But, trueness of heart never fails. These particular incidents created patterns for me. So, I could not help thinking that whoever came into my life would disappear after three years.

I remember a dream that revealed all of this.

The winds move gracefully in a circular motion. I not only see wind particles like leaves and beautiful flowers but this captivating snowy-looking air circling, waiting for me to jump in. I do. Nature’s seasons change alluringly. However, I get out of the wind once winter arrives. The trees are barren, and white ice covers the ground as a white linen blanket. I look again at the trees and freeze. Fear grips and prevents me from continuing with the winds. The winds wait for me. They move around and around. They continue to stay and standby—waiting for me to jump on board again.

I wake. The revelation continuously stirs now a new consciousness.

I have always permitted interruptions in my life until such a time as this. Thank you for being a nurturing self that broke such cycles. You purposely want me to know how much you care. You listen when I call. You teach me balance. You communicate naturally. Meaning, there is a consistent flow—sometimes daily, weekly or monthly. Your nurturing helped to heal a fractured vessel.  You shift to a being of sensitivity. You’ve taught me the importance to feed and nurture my relationships. You took time with me, listened, cried with me, let me vent, fall, make mistakes and most importantly never judged me.

Because of you, I can demonstrate the same virtues.

With a grateful and healed heart,

Me.

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