My living status is quickly approaching two years in NC. Since my transition I have learned many lessons. There are two that echo in my ears without cease: timing and Abba’s voice. I remember traveling home (PA at that time) from a revival with my leader, and how the voice of God spoke clearly and precise. “You’re moving to NC next year,” He whispered. I didn’t pose questions. As Emily Dickinson penned it, “everything within stood ceremoniously applauding.” There were no doubts. Nothing wavered. I was settled and excited so I blurted the news to Apostle.
Interestingly, fear appeared after the fact. There were others I had to face. People dear to my heart. Individuals I knew wouldn’t understand this move. Loved-ones that will always keep and remember me as a little girl. The potent delivery was to my parents. Mom didn’t take the conversation or transition to well. How might an individual cope with decisions which involve both God and family/(mommy)? This question kept me torn and in torment for weeks.
I’m not a dogmatic, charismatic; however, I am a realist. I am also a Christian–not as the “religion or doctrine” indicates. I am nondenomination–not in the sense “denomination” is defined. (I view these as oppressions and sub-cultures). Again, I’m a Christian in context of the author God and finisher of my faith, Jesus the Christ, where I’m daily striving to live a new culture from biblical milieus. As I realize, the culture in which I have adapted and learned systemically, parentally and through Blackness isn’t ALL biblically exactness. So, I’m learning new adaptations, new human characteristics, AbbaFather and Jesus through new lenses.
Realistically, those around me would not understand. I don’t expect them to; only until they see the new creature in me in process. I was once told that leaving my former church would release “demons” to attack and take me off track. I can certainly laugh at this now because I’m actually closer to AbbaFather and the breaking of old relationships was critical to my walk. Following Abba’s lead to NC was one of the best thing’s to happen for me. His voice is much clearer to me, and my faith yet increases daily.
I’m yet learning the art of prayer.
I’m yet understanding salvation.
I’m yet open to prophetic/apostolic realms.
I’m yet seeing God move in new ways that blow my mind.
I’m yet comprehending how to interpret (my) dreams and visions.
I’m yet walking and living the life of a Co-Pastor.
Isaiah contends, “In the year King Uzziah died, I saw also the Lord…,” (Is. 6:1a). I see the Lord in ways I didn’t see Him during the “old connections.” Actually, they were only for a season and because I overstayed my time what was once a blessed place became a too familiar, full of bondage/fears, and place of “Lodebar.” They’re not to blame. The fault was mine. I was the Jonah-type going in the wrong direction. So, when “storms” came they were not sent from the enemy–they came from God.
Abba has even shifted my vision, and understandings in my brain. I wondered why my sight literally became blurry. (I stayed before God, anointing my eyes for healing). Headaches were extremely intolerable, too. According to Dr. P. Price, “these literal ailments are present (at times) because Abba is shifting.” The key is to pray and ask for keen discernment when such things occur.
Shift happens when you expect and least expect it! Release fear. Understand Theocracy. Learn TRUTH through biblical CULTURE. Bracing myself for another biblical earthquake, which brings shift and movements.
Up next, I’ll write about the wind(s) of God: ruach and pneuma.